We received confirmation from our adoption agency that our paperwork has been sent off to immigration. Woo hoo. The depressing thing is that she said it could take up to eight weeks, which would put us mid September before we can even begin the authentication process. That stings. I am hopeful it doesn't take that long. I know it won't take that long, but even if it is possible, I think I will explode! I just want our paperwork to be in the hands of the Chinese government's capable hands. I am confident they are going to chose a perfect little girl for us. I know timing is everything and that if our paperwork goes through any earlier, than we would not end up with the baby girl that is specifically meant for us. This waiting hurts. We are sooooo upset that our home study was delayed by three weeks. Does this mean something? Was it delayed for divine reasons?? I know I don't think about nor talk
about God very much, but maybe he is trying to tell us something. I will try to be patient.
We have started the nursery. My old home office is going bye-bye and there are signs of pink showing up. Emily (my niece) and I painted pink butterflies and pink bows on the top of the wall in lieu of a wallpaper border. Then we tacked (fake) ivy along the top. It looks very "Mid-Summer's Eve-ish" (if there is such a phrase). We (I say "we" I mean "I" because Rob really has no idea what I am doing) were going to do ballerina motif, but I am really liking the butterflies and ivy. I think we are going to keep running with that. We are going to tack fluffy clouds on the ceiling and hang some butterflies and dragonflies. I repainted the black shelves on the walls to a nice subtle white and put them back on the walls with the dolls. I think we need more dolls on the walls. It TOTALLY screams Little Girl!! No...I am NOT
getting carried away. Am I? I want this whole little girl thing so bad I can taste it. I am not sure that Rob fully understands this need I have. Don't get me wrong, I love my boys to death, but I want a girl. I almost need her to complete me. I know, I'm nuts. You can say that. I am past the denial.
I have been reading a lot of adoption stories on the internet. I especially love the ones with the pictures. I love reading other experiences and I take notes learning from those who have gone before us. I do however find myself tearing up at them. I hope thats normal. I can picture myself in that situation. That will be Rob and I. It becomes more real every hurdle we overcome. I just wish time was our friend and things would process more rapidly. I can hardly wait. I can almost feel her in my arms. I can close my eyes and see her. I feel I already know her yet we have not met, and she probably isn't even born yet. That makes me smile. I am coming for you, my daughter. Be patient.
Wednesday
July 2004 - Entry 2
Well the fingerprinting is done. Actually it was almost fun. We had heard evil stories about the INS office in Denver and were fully prepared to sit there for several hours. We arrived about 9:00 am (they actually opened at 8am but we were running a tad late). There was a line out the door. We gasped of course and got inline. Luckily, the line was just for checking in and most of the people ahead of us were not there to be fingerprinted. Once checked in, we only had to wait about ten minutes before they called our numbers. This INS office utilizes the fancy digital scanning which requires no ink. They squirt a bunch of lotion onto your palms (actually it was plain Cornhuskers lotion) and have you rub it in really well. They start pressing your fingers onto a glass scanner. It really was almost fun! It was neat watching the computer scan the fingerprints and then tell you if its acceptable or if it has to be rescanned. Modern technology is great. All in all, we were in the INS office for about a half an hour. The technician that did my fingerprinting handed me a survey card that I was most eager to fill out. They received an excellent review. Their people were friendly and efficient and there was not a long wait. We did hear that Saturdays at the INS office is a total nightmare. I'm glad we planned ahead.
From here we are waiting on our I171H from immigration. I know it can take one to six weeks to get his, but I am HOPEFUL from the rumors I have been hearing online. One couple received their I171H in two and a half weeks (from the Denver office no less.) Come on immigration. Our baby is waiting. I want our paperwork sent off to China by the end of August. Its a realistic goal I think. Everyone pray!!!
From here we are waiting on our I171H from immigration. I know it can take one to six weeks to get his, but I am HOPEFUL from the rumors I have been hearing online. One couple received their I171H in two and a half weeks (from the Denver office no less.) Come on immigration. Our baby is waiting. I want our paperwork sent off to China by the end of August. Its a realistic goal I think. Everyone pray!!!
July 2004 - Entry 1
Well, the home study is finally complete. We have suffered terrible frustration just to get this silly document completed. I am sorry to say that much of the grief through this home study was due to the social worker. She was not the most organized of all people. Not very punctual either (was late to every meeting we had). But alas, it is complete. The report was turned into our agency on the 8th. From here its forwarded to a company called Adoption Alliance. This is a state department that looks over the home study and makes sure it covers all the state requirements for an adoption. Yes, everyone has a hand in this and EVERYONE knows our personal business. We were a little afraid of this at first, airing our "dirty laundry" to the general public, but now the only thing we can focus on is getting our little girl. With
each process we complete (each checkmark on the TO DO list), this becomes more real.
Now we are starting to be able to picture us in China. We can close our eyes and see a faint shadow of our baby girl. This has never felt more right for both of us.
I (Heather) have been filling my time reading adoption stories online. I must admit I am THOROUGHLY addicted to them. I especially like the ones with pictures. I have even caught Rob reading them, with a tear in his eye I might add. Its hard not to.
This will be us. This is us. We share the same destiny.
We watched a National Geographic special on TV that was called China's Lost Girls. This too gave us chills. These crazy American Parents traveling to China to pick up their daughters....this will be us! I (Heather) have joined an email group of hundreds of other parents waiting to get their Chinese daughters. This program on tv was the talk of the email town. Everyone wanted to see it. We are glad we had the chance to watch it.
We have been reading and hearing about so many topics lately surrounding adoption
including what formula (American) is closest to Chinese formula (Yes there is a BIG
difference), retaining at least part of the baby's Chinese name as her legal "American" name and the big issue of how much about her heritage we should teach her. The heritage topic is one that has us the most confused. There are so many opinions that we are not sure what to think or believe. I think we are going to have to do some more research on that.
Part of our preparations for this adoption include classes we are required to take. We have to have twelve hours of "training" prior to leaving for China and twelve hours within a year after we return. This training includes such topics as attachment and bonding issues, behavior issues and general infant & toddler knowledge. The infant and toddler knowledge is what cracks me up. We have three children. Obviously we knew a little something about infants and toddlers because I am proud to admit ALL OUR CHILDREN ARE STILL LIVING (though we question that daily with our demonic fourteen-year-old). Since we live so far away from our agency, we were allowed to do some of the training via a workbook. Let me tell you some of the stuff in there is LUDICROUS!!! On the very first page, the exercise has us drawing a picture of what we think our adopted daughter will look like, I am afraid to tell everyone that the drawing that I made has a fatal disease and will not survive (it
mostly resembles a stick figure). Eek. We feel like we are in first grade again....whipping out the crayons!!! Its rather comical actually.
each process we complete (each checkmark on the TO DO list), this becomes more real.
Now we are starting to be able to picture us in China. We can close our eyes and see a faint shadow of our baby girl. This has never felt more right for both of us.
I (Heather) have been filling my time reading adoption stories online. I must admit I am THOROUGHLY addicted to them. I especially like the ones with pictures. I have even caught Rob reading them, with a tear in his eye I might add. Its hard not to.
This will be us. This is us. We share the same destiny.
We watched a National Geographic special on TV that was called China's Lost Girls. This too gave us chills. These crazy American Parents traveling to China to pick up their daughters....this will be us! I (Heather) have joined an email group of hundreds of other parents waiting to get their Chinese daughters. This program on tv was the talk of the email town. Everyone wanted to see it. We are glad we had the chance to watch it.
We have been reading and hearing about so many topics lately surrounding adoption
including what formula (American) is closest to Chinese formula (Yes there is a BIG
difference), retaining at least part of the baby's Chinese name as her legal "American" name and the big issue of how much about her heritage we should teach her. The heritage topic is one that has us the most confused. There are so many opinions that we are not sure what to think or believe. I think we are going to have to do some more research on that.
Part of our preparations for this adoption include classes we are required to take. We have to have twelve hours of "training" prior to leaving for China and twelve hours within a year after we return. This training includes such topics as attachment and bonding issues, behavior issues and general infant & toddler knowledge. The infant and toddler knowledge is what cracks me up. We have three children. Obviously we knew a little something about infants and toddlers because I am proud to admit ALL OUR CHILDREN ARE STILL LIVING (though we question that daily with our demonic fourteen-year-old). Since we live so far away from our agency, we were allowed to do some of the training via a workbook. Let me tell you some of the stuff in there is LUDICROUS!!! On the very first page, the exercise has us drawing a picture of what we think our adopted daughter will look like, I am afraid to tell everyone that the drawing that I made has a fatal disease and will not survive (it
mostly resembles a stick figure). Eek. We feel like we are in first grade again....whipping out the crayons!!! Its rather comical actually.
June 2004
We have met with our social worker several times now. (A couple meetings at Starbucks!!! Works for me!!!) She told us she just about had all the information she needed to complete the home study. I think she completely filled up an entire legal pad with information about us.
Was this good? Was it normal? Did this mean we were freaks?? So many questions went
through our minds.At our last meeting, she told us she was a little worried about the transition with the adoption and Adam. Adam??? Why would she be worried about him?? She thought he would slip out of the picture once the baby got here. Rob and I reminded her that he was VERY fourteen and right now he wanted NOTHING to do with his "uncool" family. She understood. She said she would try to have the home study done by the end of the following week. The end of that week came and no home study. We finally broke down and called her.
#1 bump in the road to adoption!! Apparently her computer had developed a terrible case of the ick and ATE out home study. She would have to start all over. I cried. This was not fair. We felt like this adoption was going no where. And we were powerless. We started to think it was never going to happen. I cried some more. I know many other couples have gone through this and I know we will get there eventually, but I could not help but sob like a baby. I would read the stories online and bawl my eyes out. Rob had no idea what to do. He tried. He brought me home flowers and chocolates and a toy for the baby. Mom saw I was upset and ordered something off my baby wishlist. I appreciate the efforts, but the only thing that
will make me feel better at this point is THE DANG HOME STUDY!!!
Was this good? Was it normal? Did this mean we were freaks?? So many questions went
through our minds.At our last meeting, she told us she was a little worried about the transition with the adoption and Adam. Adam??? Why would she be worried about him?? She thought he would slip out of the picture once the baby got here. Rob and I reminded her that he was VERY fourteen and right now he wanted NOTHING to do with his "uncool" family. She understood. She said she would try to have the home study done by the end of the following week. The end of that week came and no home study. We finally broke down and called her.
#1 bump in the road to adoption!! Apparently her computer had developed a terrible case of the ick and ATE out home study. She would have to start all over. I cried. This was not fair. We felt like this adoption was going no where. And we were powerless. We started to think it was never going to happen. I cried some more. I know many other couples have gone through this and I know we will get there eventually, but I could not help but sob like a baby. I would read the stories online and bawl my eyes out. Rob had no idea what to do. He tried. He brought me home flowers and chocolates and a toy for the baby. Mom saw I was upset and ordered something off my baby wishlist. I appreciate the efforts, but the only thing that
will make me feel better at this point is THE DANG HOME STUDY!!!
May 2004 - Entry 2
"Paperchasing" is what this is called. How little did we know how appropriate that word was. As redundant as any other government paperwork is (taxes, etc.), this is far worse. We must have read over the list of paperwork we needed to gather a dozen times, each time scratching our heads further. Huh???? We needed to gather two sets of paperwork. One for immigration, proving to our government that we were good people and not criminals. One for the Chinese government...this one is called our "Dossier" and will introduce us to the Peoples Republic of China and prove to them that we "deserve" one of their orphans. I am sure that is not the politically correct way to describe it, but that sure is how it feels. This paperwork for China
must have all "official" copies, documented by a notary, certified by the secretary of state that the notary is genuine and "authenticated" by the Chinese Embassy or Consulate in the US. In other words, we need a notary to put their John Hancock on the paperwork saying "Yup...this is their paperwork". Then the sec. of state has to put their seal on it and say "Yup, that's the notary's seal". Then the Chinese Embassy (or consulate...depending on where it is) has to look over everything, put their seal on it and say "Yup, thats the notary's seal and the sec. of state's
seal". I'll tell you something, this is by far the DUMBEST system I have ever seen. Sorry. Just had to get that one out.By the end of May, we had gathered everything we needed except for my birth certificate. I was born in a DC State (surrounding Washington DC) so I had to go through a separate step.
After I received my birth certificate (henceforth referred to as BC) from Vital Statistics in Maryland, I had to send it back our to Maryland to have the sec. of state certify it. Then it had to be sent BACK east to Washington DC to the US Dept of State Authentication Office. Holy cow. You would think in this age of technology SOMEONE would have figured out a better way to this system. (Sigh) Once everything is gathered, we have to wait to have them authenticated (because authentication has expiration dates).
The HOME STUDY comes next. We met with our social worker, Myra. She is sweet. She
asked a whole lot of questions. It was very intimidating. We were paranoid, of course and the house was SPOTLESS! She talked to the children, asked them what they liked and what they thought of the adoption. Jake and Canaan responded with acceptable answers (in our books). Adam of course decided to put on the fourteen-year-old hat and say something stupid. Myra asked Adam if he liked school, he said yes. She asked him what he liked best about school and Adam opened his mouth and put his foot in. He said "It gets me out of the house and away from the family". We were MORTIFIED. My heart sunk to the pit of my stomach. This social worker was going to think we were horrible parents because our oldest son hates to be home!!!!!! Oh my god. I couldn't breathe. Rob lost all expression on his face. After Adam left the room, Myra informed us that she too had a fourteen-year-old and she understood.
WHEW!!!!!!
Oh, one other thing we got this month...we received our "invitation to be fingerprinted" from immigration. I pulled it out of the mail the night Adam had his graduation from middle school. I showed everyone at the graduation!!!! They thought I was psycho. Probably still do.
must have all "official" copies, documented by a notary, certified by the secretary of state that the notary is genuine and "authenticated" by the Chinese Embassy or Consulate in the US. In other words, we need a notary to put their John Hancock on the paperwork saying "Yup...this is their paperwork". Then the sec. of state has to put their seal on it and say "Yup, that's the notary's seal". Then the Chinese Embassy (or consulate...depending on where it is) has to look over everything, put their seal on it and say "Yup, thats the notary's seal and the sec. of state's
seal". I'll tell you something, this is by far the DUMBEST system I have ever seen. Sorry. Just had to get that one out.By the end of May, we had gathered everything we needed except for my birth certificate. I was born in a DC State (surrounding Washington DC) so I had to go through a separate step.
After I received my birth certificate (henceforth referred to as BC) from Vital Statistics in Maryland, I had to send it back our to Maryland to have the sec. of state certify it. Then it had to be sent BACK east to Washington DC to the US Dept of State Authentication Office. Holy cow. You would think in this age of technology SOMEONE would have figured out a better way to this system. (Sigh) Once everything is gathered, we have to wait to have them authenticated (because authentication has expiration dates).
The HOME STUDY comes next. We met with our social worker, Myra. She is sweet. She
asked a whole lot of questions. It was very intimidating. We were paranoid, of course and the house was SPOTLESS! She talked to the children, asked them what they liked and what they thought of the adoption. Jake and Canaan responded with acceptable answers (in our books). Adam of course decided to put on the fourteen-year-old hat and say something stupid. Myra asked Adam if he liked school, he said yes. She asked him what he liked best about school and Adam opened his mouth and put his foot in. He said "It gets me out of the house and away from the family". We were MORTIFIED. My heart sunk to the pit of my stomach. This social worker was going to think we were horrible parents because our oldest son hates to be home!!!!!! Oh my god. I couldn't breathe. Rob lost all expression on his face. After Adam left the room, Myra informed us that she too had a fourteen-year-old and she understood.
WHEW!!!!!!
Oh, one other thing we got this month...we received our "invitation to be fingerprinted" from immigration. I pulled it out of the mail the night Adam had his graduation from middle school. I showed everyone at the graduation!!!! They thought I was psycho. Probably still do.
May 2004 - Entry 1
We rec'd our welcome letter from CCAI!!! Woo hoo! But we are not "in" yet. Not until our reference letters come back from our friends (the people we listed on the application as our personal references). After coaching our friends a little, the packets were in and we were official, but less than a week before the orientation. Could we still go or would we have to wait another month???? (Freaked out slightly) Turned out we could go. We rec'd our first packet the day before the orientation. Not much time to go through and make a list of questions.
We went to orientation on the 8th. Boy oh boy was that interesting. They answered every question we had and many more we would have never thought to ask. They also asked us if we had sent off our I600A form that was in our packet. Oh my god. We didn't. We had just gotten the packet the day before!! Why didn't someone tell us this!! We were starting to think we had already screwed up the first thing for the adoption, but were told it was no big deal. By the end of the day, my eyes were the size of dinner plates. I was feeling extremely overwhelmed.
Rob was not worried. Huh???? Mr. Worry Wort himself???? It was weird. At the end of the meeting, the speaker says, "Congratulations, you are officially pregnant"!! (Rob's eyes now the size of dinner plates) Driving home, it was a matter of hearing the phrase "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god..." repeat over and over in my head. I don't know how Rob was feeling, but I sure was brain freaked.
We went to orientation on the 8th. Boy oh boy was that interesting. They answered every question we had and many more we would have never thought to ask. They also asked us if we had sent off our I600A form that was in our packet. Oh my god. We didn't. We had just gotten the packet the day before!! Why didn't someone tell us this!! We were starting to think we had already screwed up the first thing for the adoption, but were told it was no big deal. By the end of the day, my eyes were the size of dinner plates. I was feeling extremely overwhelmed.
Rob was not worried. Huh???? Mr. Worry Wort himself???? It was weird. At the end of the meeting, the speaker says, "Congratulations, you are officially pregnant"!! (Rob's eyes now the size of dinner plates) Driving home, it was a matter of hearing the phrase "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god..." repeat over and over in my head. I don't know how Rob was feeling, but I sure was brain freaked.
April 2004
Now that we have decided on a country and an agency, its time to figure out where the money is coming from. The estimated cost of this endeavor is between $15K-$18K. Owie. We decided it was time for the house we had worked so hard on for the past five years to start paying us back. Re-finance! This is the part that weirded me out the most. When we talked to our mortgage company about refinancing, we told them the reason. They at first said it would be six to eight weeks start to finish, but after hearing the reasons for the refi, EVERYONE seemed to be on our side. The initial paperwork came to us in three days. The appraiser called us two weeks earlier than he was supposed to and set the appraisal for the NEXT DAY! This was the first worry stage. If the house did not appraise for enough, there would not be enough money for the entire adoption. (Freak Out City for Rob) We needed it to appraise for $170K. Considering we bought the house almost exactly five years ago for $104K, this might have been a stretch...but all the work we did on it should help. Guess what...the appraisal came in at $176K. More than we hoped for!! Something told us this was
meant to be. Something felt right.Rob did not want to send in the adoption application for CCAI until the refi was done. He of course was paranoid. A few days before closing on the refi, he gave in and we sent the application in. It has begun.
meant to be. Something felt right.Rob did not want to send in the adoption application for CCAI until the refi was done. He of course was paranoid. A few days before closing on the refi, he gave in and we sent the application in. It has begun.
March 2004
Well, we've made up our minds. The talk of adoption has been lingering on Rob and my mind since we first officially became a couple. It's something that I have wanted to do since as long as I can remember. For me there was never a decision. I was surprised that Rob was so open to the idea. There are a lot of people out there that would never pursue an adoption, let alone an international adoption. Most of the couples (I have read) adopt because they cannot have children of their own. This is not the case with us. We have three boys. Rob does not have any
biological children of his own and I know that sometimes he wishes he did. I can't give that to him. My body could not handle it. But adoption. Hmmm.
When we seriously started talking about it, international was the first choice. The thought of adopting domestically never appealed to us. The idea of having to be a foster parent first was too hard, not to mention the fact there would always be that underlying fear of the biological parents coming back. Nope. Doesn't feel right. Okay, so we talked about what country to adopt
from. China has always been my first choice. I remember daydreaming about adopting my own little China doll. So what other countries do we consider? There are a few countries in South America that the wait time is much less than others. Nope. Doesn't feel right.
So we choose China. That feels right. We are not in a hurry and we do not want to have to "settle" for something that may not take as long, but will not be exactly what we dream of. So now comes the task of choosing an agency. We want one in Colorado so we have local support. There are three prominent agencies in Colorado that deals with China. We sent off for information packets. When the packets arrive, the information is overwhelming. Two of the agency packets are a bit cheap looking. Photocopied too many times. We are not really impressed. The third has great information and they ONLY deal with China. That could be a plus. After looking at their Website and reading their information, we decided to go to one of
their information meetings. We had to lie to the family about what we were doing because we don't want them knowing yet.
Decision made. Walking in the door of Chinese Children Adoptions International in Centennial, CO took our breath away. Pictures all over the walls of all the Chinese girls that had been adopted through their agency. Their presentation was excellent and informative and they DIDN'T ask for all the money up front. Officially we didn't "decide" until a few days later, but in my mind it was made up the moment we walked out their door. We made a few calls on some references they provided and found out that this agency is top notch. Yup. It just felt right.
biological children of his own and I know that sometimes he wishes he did. I can't give that to him. My body could not handle it. But adoption. Hmmm.
When we seriously started talking about it, international was the first choice. The thought of adopting domestically never appealed to us. The idea of having to be a foster parent first was too hard, not to mention the fact there would always be that underlying fear of the biological parents coming back. Nope. Doesn't feel right. Okay, so we talked about what country to adopt
from. China has always been my first choice. I remember daydreaming about adopting my own little China doll. So what other countries do we consider? There are a few countries in South America that the wait time is much less than others. Nope. Doesn't feel right.
So we choose China. That feels right. We are not in a hurry and we do not want to have to "settle" for something that may not take as long, but will not be exactly what we dream of. So now comes the task of choosing an agency. We want one in Colorado so we have local support. There are three prominent agencies in Colorado that deals with China. We sent off for information packets. When the packets arrive, the information is overwhelming. Two of the agency packets are a bit cheap looking. Photocopied too many times. We are not really impressed. The third has great information and they ONLY deal with China. That could be a plus. After looking at their Website and reading their information, we decided to go to one of
their information meetings. We had to lie to the family about what we were doing because we don't want them knowing yet.
Decision made. Walking in the door of Chinese Children Adoptions International in Centennial, CO took our breath away. Pictures all over the walls of all the Chinese girls that had been adopted through their agency. Their presentation was excellent and informative and they DIDN'T ask for all the money up front. Officially we didn't "decide" until a few days later, but in my mind it was made up the moment we walked out their door. We made a few calls on some references they provided and found out that this agency is top notch. Yup. It just felt right.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
