April 2005

It hard to believe it has been almost four weeks since we got our referral. I do not know where the time went. It's strange. The wait was so long for our precious referral and yet I cannot recall where the past several weeks have gone. I have spent many hours staring at the picture of our little China angel. I have memorized her face and it is now permanently burned into my memory. I have not been sleeping much. Too many thoughts are hovering in my mind. I cannot believe we have a daughter. I have been filled with such a multitude of feelings. I of course am extremely elated, but I am also sad. We will be taking this precious girl away from the only thing that she has ever known. The only people she has ever know.

Her place of birth. I wish I knew more about where she comes from so that I may one day teach her how to appreciate her roots. China is an amazing country. I hope she will remember some of it.

We received our travel approval from China on Friday (the 8th). What a relief. Forward momentum towards Mary. We are now awaiting our appointment with the US Consulate in Guangzhou, Guangdong. This will be our final destination while in China. This is where we will complete Mary's paperwork in order to bring her back home to the United States.

We received a little more information about Mary on Monday (the 11th). It was not much, but it made me so happy that I cried. It told us where she was abandoned and who found her. It told us what she likes and more about who she is. It told us what she was eating and what kind of schedule she is on. That information was so much more than we were given on referral day. It was so priceless. We of course fell in love with her at first sight, but now we know where her life began and how it has developed. If this is the only update that we get, I will be eternally grateful for what I have. I feel like I know her better now. I just hope I recognize her when I see her (a little fear that I am working through there). :-)

So now we get ready for the biggest trip of our lives. I am nervous. There is still a little packing to do. Not much. I think I will be ready. I want to be ready to take in as much as I possibly can of China. I want to take tons of pictures and have tons of memories that I can share with her when she gets older. I want to feel what China is really like and where my precious daughter began her life. I am disappointed I have not been able to find more information about Mary's city or about her orphanage. It's such a mystery. We won't get to visit her city, and that makes me sad. I wish I had the chance to meet "her people". Perhaps there is another trip to China in our futures, if only to answer some questions.

Here we come, China. We are coming to make your daughter...ours.