July 2004 - Entry 3

We received confirmation from our adoption agency that our paperwork has been sent off to immigration. Woo hoo. The depressing thing is that she said it could take up to eight weeks, which would put us mid September before we can even begin the authentication process. That stings. I am hopeful it doesn't take that long. I know it won't take that long, but even if it is possible, I think I will explode! I just want our paperwork to be in the hands of the Chinese government's capable hands. I am confident they are going to chose a perfect little girl for us. I know timing is everything and that if our paperwork goes through any earlier, than we would not end up with the baby girl that is specifically meant for us. This waiting hurts. We are sooooo upset that our home study was delayed by three weeks. Does this mean something? Was it delayed for divine reasons?? I know I don't think about nor talk
about God very much, but maybe he is trying to tell us something. I will try to be patient.

We have started the nursery. My old home office is going bye-bye and there are signs of pink showing up. Emily (my niece) and I painted pink butterflies and pink bows on the top of the wall in lieu of a wallpaper border. Then we tacked (fake) ivy along the top. It looks very "Mid-Summer's Eve-ish" (if there is such a phrase). We (I say "we" I mean "I" because Rob really has no idea what I am doing) were going to do ballerina motif, but I am really liking the butterflies and ivy. I think we are going to keep running with that. We are going to tack fluffy clouds on the ceiling and hang some butterflies and dragonflies. I repainted the black shelves on the walls to a nice subtle white and put them back on the walls with the dolls. I think we need more dolls on the walls. It TOTALLY screams Little Girl!! No...I am NOT
getting carried away. Am I? I want this whole little girl thing so bad I can taste it. I am not sure that Rob fully understands this need I have. Don't get me wrong, I love my boys to death, but I want a girl. I almost need her to complete me. I know, I'm nuts. You can say that. I am past the denial.
I have been reading a lot of adoption stories on the internet. I especially love the ones with the pictures. I love reading other experiences and I take notes learning from those who have gone before us. I do however find myself tearing up at them. I hope thats normal. I can picture myself in that situation. That will be Rob and I. It becomes more real every hurdle we overcome. I just wish time was our friend and things would process more rapidly. I can hardly wait. I can almost feel her in my arms. I can close my eyes and see her. I feel I already know her yet we have not met, and she probably isn't even born yet. That makes me smile. I am coming for you, my daughter. Be patient.