March 17, 2005 ~ Referral Day!

This morning, we were both wired out of our brains. I managed to get a few things done at work, all the while JUMPING on the phone every time it rang. My customers were subjected to disappointing sighs when I found out it wasn't "the call".

It honestly FELT like I was in labor waiting to leave for the hospital. My tummy was doing aerobics. I felt like I was going to toss my cookies. That feeling didn't go away. At 10:58 am, I answered the phone. It was Sarah from CCAI. It honestly took me half a second for it to register in my brain. Oh my god. This is it! Sarah asked me how I was. I said, "I don't know, you tell me....." Sarah said "Well, I think St. Patricks Day just became very lucky for you". She asked if I wanted to take a drive to Denver. Ummmmm.....YES!!!!

Then she says, "Okay, drive safe then." My heart stopped for a second. "Wait! Aren't you going to give me ANY information???????" I shrieked! Then she told me she would tell me anything I wanted to know. She gave me the basics to tie me over until we got there. I got her name and what it means, her measurements and where she was.
I then hung up the phone and sat there. I had forgotten to breathe through that and I felt like I was going to pass out. Then I called Rob. "Are you ready to go?" I asked. We met up at the highway and took the hour and twenty-minute trip to the agency. It seemed like an eternity.

When we arrived, we saw a sign in the entryway that read "SURPRISE...ALL THE BABIES
ARE IRISH AND THEY ALL HAVE RED HAIR!" (It was St. Patty's Day after all). We went
to the counter and asked for Sarah. She was on her phone!!! Oh no. More waiting. We
paced back and forth for over ten minutes, all the while, I felt like I was going to throw up. Other couples were going in and coming out with their baby pictures. This was not helping.

Finally Sarah came out, apologizing. I couldn't wait any longer. I said, "You better show me the picture of that baby before I throw up!"I cannot explain the feeling that pulsed through my body when she opened that folder and we saw our daughter for the first time. The moment was surreal. Time stood still. Her picture stole my breath away. The tears welled up. There was my baby. That is the angel that we were waiting for after all these many months. People say that when you see her picture that all of the sudden the horrible wait is worth it. They were right. All of the sudden, nothing else mattered. Our dream became a living, breathing angel waiting for us in Zhijiang. Her name was Yue.
We went through all the information that our agency had for her including her birthday, her medical history and some personality traits. All I could do is stare at her picture. I have seen so many referral pictures online that my brain simply could not understand that THIS picture was our baby. All ours. I am still in a slight state of shock over it. I cannot believe we have a
little girl. And she is perfect.

On the way home, I was quiet. Rob asked what I was thinking. I wasn't thinking at all. The only thing I could do is repeat her name over and over in my head trying to convince myself that this was all real. Our agency says we will be traveling in 7-10 weeks. That seems like a long time, but we have her picture to stare at until then,
We rushed home so we could email pictures to everyone, including the boys who were at Grandma's for spring break. They were dying to see the new Mei Mei (little sister).

Rob and I went out to dinner in Platteville. We were both starving, but we couldn't eat. Our tummies were still on a roller coaster. We were so overcome with emotions that we couldn't do anything but stare at her picture (which was sitting on the table....our first dinner with our
daughter).
Now we get to wait again. But this wait is different. We have something real now. We know who she is and where she is. We will wait as long as we need to. She is ours forever.